Dragon Ball: Rise of the Demon King
by Rhyno Holter
Summary: What SHOULD a live-action movie of the most popular manga series be like? Hopefully, something like this. INDEFINITE HIATUS
1. Prologue: The Dream

**Disclaimer:** I'm going to write this once. The Dragonball franchise belongs to, as far as my knownledge goes, to FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, Cartoon Network, Viz Media, 20th Century FOX, and Akira Toriyama. This is an unofficial adaptation (or _fanfiction_) and is not made for anything other than entertainment purposes. Enjoy.

Dreams. They're so funny sometimes.

Sometimes they can be incredible blurs, rainbows of colors of imagination that seem to make no sense, but are so amazing that one can't help but watch, to try and make out the scenes. And no wonder; they're dreams. Unless you could force yourself awake.. well, you know.

Then there are the dreams that are so vivid in detail that while the random stories may make no sense, that you can't help but remember them long after you wake up.

People may or may not experience both in a single night. And our hero's story -- no, his _legend_ -- begins not when he's awake but when he's asleep.

His dreams aren't usually this abnormal nor are they usually this close to the truth, which is why we're going to try and pay close attention this night instead of any other night. However, because they ARE dreams it would be almost impossible to properly interpret them. Because that is the case, we'll have to do it as best as we can.

Blurs of images pass by quickly, so quickly that one might miss them if one blinked.

A meteor crashes in empty fields, and out of the wreckage a lone being crawls out barely alive. He clings to life though, and before we can see more it blurs into another image.

A robed man, armed with a long red staff yet using a wooden one to walk, stands atop the Earth. He is accompanied by two others, one of which who is pure black, a djinn who seems to be but a servant to this ruler. The other being -- who long long ago was alone in the plains -- is robed in similar robes of his master, complete with the symbol of "God" on his chest. His master calmly, sadly tells the other that in order to become the Guardian he must purge himself of all evil. He must be pure in order to be the Lord.

Another blur, and we see the lone being praying. To whom is not made clear, but whatever he prays for is driven from his mind as he lets out painful scream. Within seconds his body seems to split apart, and yet the lone being is still whole; he opens his eyes to find himself staring... at himself. A perfect double, save for the symbol on his chest. Instead of "God," the symbol means "Demon King."

Swiftly, the scene shifts to show the lone being raising his hands above round stones as the black djinn -- now _his_ servant -- watches over him. As if by an unseen force or maybe magic, the stones begin to glow orange. Stars fill the seven stones, each stone holding from one to seven stars. The stones rise into the air... and soar off into the four corners of the Earth.

Another blur, another image flashes away, and finally images that actually tell a story.

'Tis the heart of the city in the middle of the rainy season, and yet the city is empty. The city had been evacuated only days before, and only a few certain people remain. One of them is a large and well-built man, and he alone stands guard of the building behind him, labeled "the Presidential Palace." The man has in one hand a long red staff, and in the other a small jar. His face is a dreamy blur; all that can be made out are his storm-grey eyes and his thick beard.

A boy -- not yet a man the sole reason for being called such -- rushes at the man, screaming "_Sensei_!" The man is startled but does nothing as the boy and his companion -- a boy in a similar _gi_ -- run towards him.

"Mutaito-_sensei_, why must you do this?!" the boy speaks. The man does not answer immediately but instead places his hands on both the boys' heads, ruffling their hair.

"One day, my students, you will understand," he answers in his deep voice. "This is the only way. I am the only one who can do it."

"But it will kill you!" the boy replies. He does not cry, but the pain in his face is hard to ignore.

"Which is why you two, Roshi, Shen," he gestures towards the boy and his companion, "must continue my legacy. Train as you never have trained before. Teach those who show great strength and those who all others have given up on. Become the Turtle, become the Crane. You are the masters now."

"He is coming!" a voice in the distance yells before his voice trails off into a bloody scream. The boy called Shen yells, "Come on Roshi, we have to go!"

Roshi shakes his head no, and in his impatience Shen runs off, away to safety. Mutaito smiles at his brave student and for a moment considers on letting the boy stay with him.

But he is not as stupid as he looks.

"Roshi, you must leave this place. Run and do not look back."

Before Roshi could respond, Mutaito shoves the red staff into his hands. Roshi is shocked at his master's sudden action and looks up, not fully understanding.

"The ever-extending staff. Nyoi-Bo is yours, my student. You alone have proven yourself the best," he claims happily, "and so you alone are worthy of it, unlike your rival."

"But what must I do with it?" Roshi asks. Sure, he'd heard the rumors, the legends -- that God himself gave it away as humanity's lone chance of reaching him, but he wanted his master's interpretation.

"This staff is the key." He stared ahead, not at Roshi but instead at the buildings far away as he said this. "God himself gave it to me, long ago, telling me if I -- if _we_ -- truly needed his help, as he knows we do, this staff would be the key to finding him. I don't know how or where, but I'm sure you may figure that out if I fail. Now... go!"

Roshi, tears finally in his eyes, follows his master's command. But as his master closes his eyes to calm himself, he hides atop a nearby hill to watch the battle.

Suddenly an explosion is heard. Then another. And then another. The houses before him start shattering, flying away, catching fire. Another explosion is heard. Suddenly, a robed being -- human-esque, yes, but TALL and with green skin -- takes a step forward. His face is masked, hidden by the hood of his robe, but on his chest is the symbol "Demon King." The being is flanked by creatures who all look like giant lizards, smirking, drooling, glaring evilly. They may well be his servants, his sons or his brothers. They all shared their master's green skin... and demonic aura.

"Step aside, human, or I will end you as well," the tallest being, the leader, spoke in his deep voice.

"I will not," Mutatio said calmly, extending his arm in front of him. With a casual flick, he sent one of the lizard creatures flying. With another flick, the creature explodes in a storm of blood.

"Another martial artist, huh?" one of the other lizard creatures snarled. He licked his lips. "You guys are _so_ messy. You're no better than us. Heh heh, please let me go after him. Please..."

"No," the leader said. "This is the last step before I finally take over this diseased rock. I will handle him myself."

The other creatures whined in unison, but when the demon lowered his arms they all disintegrated, turned to ash.

"There. Now we have no more distraction," he said simply.

Mutaito hid the jar he held in his robes and took a defensive stance. The rain and the wind around them slightly flicked the green being's hood around, revealing an amused smile on his face. Suddenly, the two forces collided. Mutaito punched the demon's face, pushing it back a couple of steps. But the demon was taller than the average human, had a longer reach. With little effort in reach, he elbowed Mutaito in the face. With Mutaito then distracted by pain, he pushed Mutaito away.

Mutaito retaliated by attempting a jump kick, but the demon caught the kick in mid-air. As effortlessly as a child with a toy, he swung Mutaito around, scraping up dirt and mud as he casually tossed the martial arts master around. With a casual flick he threw the man into the air and lifted his arms. A blinding flash of light, a surge of electricity, and Mutaito fell to the ground, beaten, broken.

The demon chuckled softly, as if enjoying a private joke, and stepped closer to his beaten prey. He was about to end it, he could feel it. But then the man did something the demon did not intend for him to do.

He reached into his _gi_ and pulled out the jar he held earlier. Draining much of his physical strength, he tossed it under the demon, then recited the magic words that would seal the demon away... along with his own life.

"**Ma**!"

"What human trickery is this?" the demon wondered, looking down at the jar.

"**Fu**!"

"Human power has failed before. It will fail again," the demon king said confidently.

"_**Ba**__!!!_"

A flash of green and yellow light, a horrified yell in the distance, and more blurs came and went as fast as ever.

A huge, beefy man bowed to his rival, recognizable and yet not so. The two charged each other as their kindly old master proudly watched on.

The old master, bearded, robed, wearing shades, bowed to the smaller of his students, handing to him the red staff _his_ master had given him so long ago.

The young man, many years aged, stumbled upon a baby boy in the wilderness, a boy with porcupine quills for hair.

Both aged a dozen more years, now training atop clotheslines in the field outside their hut. An intense fight, despite the age of both competitors, was given. And though the boy was skilled -- able to keep up with the old man, fighting upside down -- the old man had simply to flick his wrist and the boy fell. The old man jumped off the wires and proudly helped the boy up, wiping the dirt from the spikes that were the boy's hair. Satisfied in the lad's growth, the man gave the staff to his grandson, telling him the same story told to him about the "key" and when he'd need it most.

The old man then pulled out of his pocket a stone, an orange stone with four stars glowing inside it. A gift, he said, for the boy's coming of age. A moment of happiness was felt, a tender moment that felt as if never to end.

Suddenly the image broke. A pair of blood red eyes glowed in the distance. A bloody roar, a primal scream. The moon was eclipsing the sun...

And so our hero wakes up.


	2. Bloomers Meets the Monkey King

The boy woke with a start, so much in a daze that he fell out of his bed onto the cold, hard floor. He lay there for a moment, recovering for a moment, before he stood up and placed his hands behind his head.

"What a weird dream," he said. "I can't even remember it." He looked up at the ceiling, struggling to remember the vivid blurs that were his dreams. Finally deciding it was best left forgotten, he walked over to the little mirror in the corner of the room. His reflection was just as he remembered it, because he barely changed in all this time. His hair was as spiky as porcupine quills, his eyes almond. His clothes never really changed, and were as messy as they ever were. This didn't bother him at all though because he wasn't like normal boys.

As if to prove it, a monkey tail poked itself out from behind him, waving at the reflection. The boy's face lit up and he let out a laugh that could brighten the light in any one's day.

"Well, hi to you too tail!" he exclaimed. He turned around, trying to grab his tail like a dog would do it's. After going in circles for a minute or so he finally grabbed the tail, which sent a shock-wave up his back. In pain he let out a yelp and released his tail.

That's right. _His_ tail.

He recovered from the shock shortly after and started smiling again. He took a long look around his hut, his room. It was small and under furnished, but still had quite the oriental feel due to its structure. In one corner there was a long red staff in a holding case, and in the center of the room was a pedestal. Placed on said pedestal was a pillow holding an orange crystal orb, lit up by the four stars inside of it.

"Hey Grampa!" the boy said, bowing to the crystal. Almost in response, the ball seemed to glow. The boy smiled just as his stomach began to rumble in hunger. He hunched over, yelping as his stomach begged for food. "I'm hungry, Grampa... I'll be back after I get some grub!" he said, turning to leave. He grabbed the staff, tied the sheath around his back, and ran out the door.

Outside his humble home was a small clearing, surrounded by a huge forest where just beyond the trees lie a cliff. There was a small road leading into the forest, and the outside of the forest had small stumps where trees had been knocked down. A water well was right beside the oriental hut, a bucket ready to be lowered. There was also a small pile of wood in front of the well, with a small fire still going.

But the young boy passed all this and headed on the road , his hunger driving him forward. Within moments, he had passed the trees and jumped off the far-away cliff.

---------------------------------

At the edge of Mt. Paozu, a blue hybrid, a small and compact care, is swerving recklessly along the already limited-sized roads. The driver of this vehicle is a girl, her hair a violent violet. While one hand is gripped to the wheel, her other holds a device that, with just a few beeps and boops, tells her all she needs to know. She clicks it and looks down briefly.

"It's getting close. About time too," she laughs. "But I think I'll need to go a little ways west.."

With the turn of the wheel, she drives even further down that little road, the one that seemed to head straight into a huge forest.

---------------------------------

With a meal to bring home now, the boy climbed back up the mountainside, dragged his freshly-caught fish on the old dirt road. Great exercise, and plenty of time to think.

And there was lots to think about, like that weird dream he had. He still couldn't remember much of the details, but he knew there had to be a reason. He wondered aloud what it could mean. He knew one of the men was his grandfather, but what about the other men? And how about the eclipse? He'd seen only seen it in person once before, and he was forbidden from seeing it. But those red eyes... that creature... was that _really..._?

Suddenly he heard a sound in the distance, a sound he had never heard before. It had a distinct quality, a "vroom" sort of sound. His attention was brought back to the present, and only then did he realize how far he had walked. he turned around to see a blue... _thing_ charge right at him. It made a honking noise, a screech as it slid across the road, and he swore he could have heard a scream in the distance.

But he had no time to do anything. He was caught off-guard.

The creature hit him, its metal body hitting him right in the face. He fell back several feet, dropping his catch on the way down. He was stunned as he lie there on his back. He wasn't hurt, but it was so sudden he still had to recover.

"Hey!" a voice called. It was higher than his own, and had a certain edge of forwardness that he hadn't heard before. In fact, he had never heard a voice like this one before. "Are you alright?"

He sat up, rubbing his cheeks from where he was hit, and he looked up to see some_one_ he'd never seen before: a human, or human-esque creature, only softer than he himself. Violent violet hair was pulled back into a pony-tail and looked quite at odds with herself when compared to her blue scarf and pink shirt and dress, separated by a tacky leather belt with a leather pouch.

. "Stay away from me!" he said, trying to scare her away, leaping to his feet and pulling out his staff.

"Wait, what are you doing?" the purple-haired one yelped, backing away behind the metallic-blue vehicle with her hands raised into the air. "I'm trying to help you, twerp!"

"I know what you are, witch. And I know what you're after. But..." he ran towards the metallic blue monster. "YOU AIN'T GETTING MY FISH!!" Headfirst, he hit the thing, knocking it over. Steam began to leak from the front of it as it crashed on the hard road.

"_Hey!!" _The purple-haired one ducked behind the car and pulled out a metal sort of magic wand, aiming it right at his head. "Don't make me do this, roadblock!"

"Hmph," he harrumphed confidently, pointing his staff at her head.

"Kid, seriously. Don't."

The two stared at each other, waiting for the other to do something, anything to provoke a reaction. Two pairs of eyes, one blue and one almond, were locked in unseen combat... and yet...

"What are you?" the boy asked, his attention somewhat distracted. He knew that if it were a witch in front of him, he would have been attacked by now.

"I'm a human! Not a witch!" the purple-haired one exclaimed.

"Human?" Something in his brain started clicking. He tilted his head to the side. "Really?"

The arm holding the metal wand lowered, and the purple-haired being laughed softly. It was a cute sound. "Take a look if you don't believe me!" she told him, brushing off her dress.

The boy looked curiously, rushing somewhat yet trying to take in as much detail as required. He began to think out loud, noting "You do seem human. But you seem softer... curvier." It felt funny how he said it, but the situation itself was pretty funny. Sort of.

"Well, _brainiac_, that's because you're a strong he-man type. Me, I'm a cute li'l girl!"

And suddenly it all clicked together.

"Girl?" His jaw dropped. "You mean... _female_?!"

Silence.

"Heh-_low_? Surely you've seen a girl before!" She giggled nervously as she said this, the headstrong forwardness in her voice long gone.

"I've never seen another human before, he admitted, "save for my grampa. And he told me if I ever saw a real girl," he thought carefully, "to make sure and treat her nice."

The girl blushed and winked. "Well, can't argue with that, can we?"

He felt funny when she said it, but he ignored it. He put his staff in his sheath and began to check her out again, noting there was something odd about her figure. "So... girls don't have tails huh? That's... pretty weird."

She looked at him like he was from another planet, when suddenly she felt something fuzzy and furry on her chest. Whatever was rubbing against it tickled, but when she looked down she didn't feel like laughing.

A long, brown and hairy tail was rubbing under her breasts.

She squealed and fell backwards in shock, crushing the boy as he was right behind her when she did so.

"A tail? What the hell?!" she yelped.

"I dunno why you're so shocked," he said, crawling out from under her. "You've seen other boys, right?"

"Yeah, but boys don't... I mean... the anatomy books I read don't say anything about..." She was mumbling to herself. "Then again... it's not like I've seen a naked guy's butt before, much less a naked guy..." She started to blush as she said this.

The boy raised his arms and placed his hands behind his head. "But now I think about it, Grampa didn't have a tail." He closed his eyes and smiled. "But he was a real weirdo!"

"You're the weirdo, weirdo!" The girl accused him, pointing her delicate fingers at him.

The boy ignored this and laughed, his clothes and hair swaying slightly in the light burst of wind that blew to break the tension. The girl couldn't help laughing too, when the boy picked up the catfish he dropped.

"Well, you're a girl. Come over to my place, and I'll feed ya!" He seemed to skip with each step he took, and he looked behind him. "Come on!"

She followed him, glad to be out of danger and getting a free meal while she was at it. Then she looked at the huge fish he was carrying. "You're pretty strong for a runt, aren't you?" she asked him.

He laughed loudly, a laugh that put a smile on her face. "My grampa was a martial arts master. Helped the world a lot long ago." He looked back at her and tilted his head puzzingly. "Where are you from, anyway?

"_Way_ out west," she told him. "Back in civilization."

Though it was a long walk, they finally left the huge forest and reached the simple, oriental hut.

"Not much for home repair, are you?" she asked him.

"Wait here just a sec," he told her, ignoring her negative comment. He dropped the fish to the ground and opened the doors.

The dimness of the room was the first thing that caught her attention, which at this time of day was too dark. The second thing was that the boy was talking to the orb in the center of the room. The third was the actual orb itself.

"Hey Grampa!" the boy yelled happily, bowing to the orb. "Look! It's a female, in our house!"

The fact that the boy was calling it "Grampa," when one he'd said his grandfather was dead, and two that it was an inanimate object, was pretty weird. But all this was driven from her mind when she saw the four stars inside the orb.

Four stars. An orangish crystal orb with four glowing stars inside.

"The Dragon Ball!!" she suddenly exclaimed. She made a grab for the orb, gripping the delicate crystal with both hands so tightly it was a wonder she didn't break it.

She may not have broken the ball, but she crossed the boy's line.

"Hey! Get your hands off my grampa, get your own!" He tried to take the ball back, but as Bulma was taller than him the ball was out of his reach. "That was his last possession, not even _girls_ are allowed to touch it!"

Bulma looked at the boy, then back at the ball in her hands. It's orangish glow twinkled in what little light came through the window. She looked at the boy again, understanding what little he -- or almost any one -- knew about the object she held in her hands. She sighed and put the ball back down.

"Well, I guess I have to let you in on _my li'l secret_," she said, emphasizing the last three words in a sing-song voice. She reached into the pouch on her hips and pulled out two small crystalline orbs. The orbs had the same orange glow as Goku's ball; the only difference was the number of stars in the middle.

"Voilà!" she said theatrically.

"Whoa," the boy said, taking a step back in surprise. "You have... _two_ grampas?"

The violet-haired girl giggled and shook her head. "No no, these aren't anything like that. They're called _Dragon Balls._"

A moment of silence. The girl could have laughed at how long it lasted; there's only so long a dramatic silence could last before it became silly.

"Y'mean," the boy asked, his tail curling up, "some poor dragon...?"

"What? No!" The girl laughed nervously. It was funny, the way this boy's mind worked. He may have been primitive, but he certainly wasn't unintelligent; his mind worked fast... with what little he knew. She decided to tell her story.

"I found this beauty," she began, looking at the two-star ball in her right hand, "in my cellar. My dad was waiting to experiment on it. Was on his 'list of things to do.' _But _he had no idea what it was. And neither did I."

The boy sat down, crossing his legs as he took a seat. He was ready for a good story. The girl merely continued her tale.

"So I did some research everywhere I could; the local library, my dad's personal collection, school. No matter where I went, there was nothing. But then on a field trip to the Land of Karin," she said, drawing a map with her fingers on the floor, "I found a picture on a stone wall. When I asked, the natives told me this old, old, **old** legend."

The boy could picture the image in his head, oddly enough; an old man in Native garb, seated before a fire, telling the tale as the flames flickered and lit the stone wall's carved-out images. "What was it?"

She smirked. "The picture had seven orbs with stars, and a giant dragon rising above them. I showed the native my ball, and he told me the tale. The legend stated there were originally seven Dragon Balls, and each of them glows with the light of the tiny stars inside, from one to seven."

"Grampa has four stars in it!" the boy interrupted again.

"_Sūshinchū_," she recalled, closing her eyes. "The first one I found was _Arushinchū_, the two-star ball. And after weeks of searching and a nasty encounter with a _pig_, I finally found _Ōshinchū_, five stars."

"So... you're collecting them?" the boy asked, standing up. He picked up his own ball, the one with four-stars, and held it with both hands.

"In a way," she admitted, shrugging.

"Why?" He tilted his spiky-haired head to the side, deep in thought. "You wanna make a bead necklace or something?

The girl smirked at him, the headstrong look in her eyes. "Oh, but of _course_, " she winked at him.

Sarcasm doesn't work well with those who don't understand it.

"I don't think you could," he said looking at the Dragon Ball in his hands. "The beads, the_Dragon Balls_, are way too big. They'd break your head if you tried."

"Listen, you goof. The reason why I'm gathering these balls," she held her balls with the one in the boy's hands. They began to glow. "The reason I'm collecting them, as you put it, is because when you gather all seven and chant just right, you can summon the Eternal Dragon, _Shenlong._" She pulled her hands back, and immediately the balls stopped glowing. She adjusted the balls so that two balls were in one hand as she continue, "He'll grant you any wish, the perfect wish. But," she put one finger up, "just one."

"Wow! That's awesome!"

"The last person who collected the Dragon Balls became a great king! But _somehow,_ the balls scattered since then. Leaving it," she stood up and posed dramatically, "to _li'l me_ to bring 'em back together!"

He looked back down to his own ball again, then back up at the girl. "I'm betting you know what to wish for, huh?"

She winked at him again, confusing the boy. "I guess you should know. I decided long ago that the perfect boyfriend would be a wish best suited for me!" She looked down at the porcupine-headed boy and held out her hand. "So, that's my story. Now, hand over the ball!"

Snapped back to reality, away from the stories and legends and the girl telling it, he pulled his hands back and put them, the ball in grasp, behind his back. "No! No way!! This is all of Grampa I have left!"

The girl's forwardness and headstrong attitude came back in a flash. "Give it up, you cheapskate!! What're you gonna do with it, huh!?"

The boy ran outside, smiling and taunting the girl. "Nyaah!" The girl followed him, running angrily. The boy pulled his staff out of the sheath and used it to jump over the girl, landing on the edge of the well. He stuck his tongue out at her, but the girl did nothing. She was a little tired, clutching the stitch on her side and huffing for air.

"What's wrong? Is that all you got?" he laughed. "I was just starting to have fun!"

Fun. Something clicked.

"Fun, huh?" She winked and stepped forward a bit. "You want a li'l _something something_ in exchange huh?" She lifted up her the bottom of her skirt, revealing a pair of pearl-white panties. They were so clean they seemed to sparkle as she winked at him again. "You _sure_ you won't give it to a cute girl like me?"

The boy blinked. His insides felt funny. But still, he felt indifferent. "No."

Something unclicked. The girl dropped her hands to her side in disbelief. "_Omigawd!! _No fair! That always works in movies!!"

He had no idea what had just happened. He leaped off the well and looked up at her. "Sorry, but it's mine."

"Well," she said, closing her eyes in thought. She opened them, and the boy saw a beautiful gleam of brilliance shining from those eyes. "How about this. You help me in my quest."

Images flickered before his eyes. The dreams he had the night before. The quests, adventures... something inside him was fighting to come out.

"Help you with your quest?" was all that he could ask.

"Sure!" She twirled around and looked up at the sky, the blue colors of the air reflecting off her eyes. "Your grandpa told you to be nice to girls, right? Besides," she turned back down to him, "you don't have anything better to do!"

"I dunno--"

"Come on! You're a he-man; you're supposed to **love** quests!"

Well, that logic works.

"Okay. Yeah. But I'm _not_ giving you Grampa!" The fire in his eyes showed her that he was set on this decision.

"Yeah yeah, okay. I just need to borrow it at the end though, agreed?" She stuck her hand out for him to shake.

He thought about it, then smiled up at her. "Yeah, alright!" He took her hand in his and shook.

Moments later, the duo walked out of the hut together, the boy with staff and Dragon Ball in hand and the Dragon Ball in a pouch under his belt. The girl walked a few steps behind, thinking to herself, pleased.

_Perfect. The kid will be the ideal bodyguard, and he doesn't even have to know that when the wish is granted the Dragon Balls fly off to the ends of the Earth!!_

She giggled. Her dark thoughts were lit up when she looked ahead to the boy. He seemed to be the kind of person to make everyone feel good, no matter what he looked like or said.

"Wait," he asked, stopping to put his hands behind his head. "How are we gonna find the other balls? Do you know where they are?"

"Ho ho ho, I'm not just a pretty face, you know?" She struck a pose, and added "Though I certainly am that!" She reached into the pouch on her belt and pulled out a circular-shaped device. The grid-interface beeped and booped, showing several orange dots on its screen. "Feast your peepers on this!"

"My... peepers?" He looked down at his pants.

"No, no!!" Blushing, she grabbed his face and made him look up at the device. "Look at this! It's a Dragon Ball locator! The **Dragon Radar**! You see, when my _dad_didn't do any experiments on it, I did and I noticed that they gave off a faint electromagnetic pulse, so I constructed this!"

"So... those dots are the Dragon Balls?" he asked. She had to be impressed; he could process information pretty easily when he wasn't being naïve about it.

"Right. And the closest one," she read the numbers and symbols on the radar, "is about a thousand miles." She pointed at the orange dot near the bottom of the screen.

"I don't get it," he admitted, staring at the device.

"I do. _And_ because you wrecked my car," she reached into her pouch, "I'll have to take out a new one." She pulled her hand out, wiping the violent violet hair from her eyes before reaching back in. "By the way, I didn't get your name. Should've gotten it when I kinda ran you over, sorry."

"Oh, ha. I'm Goku. Son Goku. My grampa named me after some guy in a book, but I can't read. What's your name?"

"Well, um... My name's Bulma..."

"What?!" Goku couldn't help but laugh at the name. He started laughing so hard he had to use his staff to hold himself up. "Doesn't that mean 'bloomer'? My grampa told me a story about some late bloomer he once knew long ago," he said between guffaws and hee-haws.

"No, it means 'bloomers,' idiot!!" Bulma was liking Goku less and less.

"Bloomers!? That's even better!!!" If he could have laughed harder, he would have.

"Ugh! Twerp. I hate twerps!!" Bulma pulled out a box from her pouch and opened it, revealing two rows filled with dozens of capsules. "I'll show you, kid!"

She picked out a red-colored capsule with the number nine painted on it, clicked it, and threw it at the ground. The moment it touched solid ground, it exploded in a cloud of smoke, knocking a surprised Goku on his back. When Goku sat up, he could see hidden behind the smoke gears transforming and clicking and winding and unwinding. When it cleared, there was a motorcycle with a transparent visor attached. It was white and red and pretty cool, in Goku's opinion.

But...

"I **knew** it!! You _are_ a witch!" He leapt to his feet and pulled his staff out, aiming its tip at the machine.

"Get over it, monkey king," she scoffed, getting on the bike. "Everyone in the city's got Hoi-Poi capsules -- oh, shoot. Forgot, you're not from the city." She patted the seat behind her. "Come on. Swing your little tail up here."

Part of him didn't want to. It was a strange thing to him. But he had made a new friend... and he thought he saw a scene like this in his dream. In the end, he couldn't resist. Adventures awaited.

With the turn of a key and the _vroom_ of an engine, the pair zoomed off into the distance.

**Author's Notes**

_These first two chapters, along with a few of the middle chapters, is/will be the hardest chapters that I have written/to write. After all, this chapter introduces us to the main characters._

_The inspiration for this version of the story is not only the manga (I'm basically going to condense the first 16 volumes into one fanfiction of AWESOME), but the movies "Path to Power" and "Dragonball: Evolution." Say what you will about the latter; it's probably true. But dang it, FOX promised a live action movie, they gave us one. Didn't say it would be good. Despite that, I enjoyed it and (cue enraged fanboys) will take a few ideas from the movie and place them in my story, because from a cinematic point-of-view... they work. _

_The main reason I chose to start writing this is because despite my enjoyment, it really is one of the worst movies of all time (Wikipedia wasn't lying). This fanfic is what I envision a live-action version of our favorite franchise should be like, and though I won't be surprised if it's not what _you_ want, I do hope you enjoy it a lot more than DB:E._

_I will use these "author's notes" to talk to you readers about certain aspects of the story, inspiration, why I change some things, or why I use certain names (whether the original, the Americanized, or some form inbetween). Basically, it'll be my story of how I wrote this. I will also answer questions if you have any, whether about this story or about DB in particular. I'm a geek. Whoo!_

_I am a lazy and imperfect writer. My most common mistakes are using commas too much, and switching between past and present verb tenses. In the same sentence. Besides that, I really don't think I'm __that__ bad. However, because I'm lazy it may take forever to finish the story (in my mind, I've planned the majority of it out, though things are subject to change). Please, inspire/convince me that the fruits of my labors are not worthless. _


	3. Unexpected Surprises

It was several hours of driving, but finally as the sun began to set Bulma slowed the bike to a stop. She set the kickstand and got off the bike, turning to look at Goku. She had to laugh at his face; he seemed to be experiencing a mixture of excitement and joy, which is always easy to read.

"That thing went faster than me!!" he yelled, leaping off the side of the vehicle. "I didn't think that was possible!! Had to grab the seat in front of me, scared me so ba--"

"Yeah, I think I got the point," she said, rubbing her butt. "By the way, you grab it again, you lose your hands."

"Wha?" Goku tilted his head to the side, the spikes on his head bouncing slightly as he did so. "What's wrong with the seat? It was real soft--"

He saw Bulma's face turn red, even in the barely lit light.

"L-Let's just call it a night," she stammered.

"Awright! I get the soft leaves for _my_ bed!" He turned around, looking for some soft leaves with which to rest upon. Bulma just laughed.

"As if! Can you really see me, sleeping outside? **Especially** in this?" She pointed to her pink shirt and skirt.

"Well, you can drive in it..." Goku noted, placing his hands behind his head. "Besides, where can we sleep that's not outside? I don't see no houses out here."

"Capsule time!" She said, pulling out the box from her pouch.

"No way!" Goku dropped his arms to his side and stepped closer to Bulma, glancing at the inside of the box. "You're not gonna pop a house outta those... those whatcha-mah call-its!"

"Hoi-Poi capsules, yeah." She pulled out a capsule with the number one on its label and walked away from the road to the grass. She began to kick the ground in the grass, finally settling on a flat area.

"Seems level enough. Better clear out, monkey boy."

Goku didn't need telling twice. He practically zoomed away when she threw the capsule.

An explosion, a whirl of whirring and winding, and where there was once a patch of land was now a huge round house. Bulma smiled at the look on Goku's face; she felt like saying _Ta-da!!_

"Lovely!" She placed her hand on Goku's shoulder. "Still lusting after those _leaves_?"

Goku's eyes met Bulma's. He had never met another person, and was shocked that the first girl he'd ever met was so.. headstrong. Forward. _Curvy._ His grandfather had told him stories of demons and witches who were like her, leading men and boys and girls to their doom. He had to ask; he could tell by her eyes if she was lying.

"Are you **sure** you're not a witch?"

Bulma raised an eyebrow. "Are you still on that? Trust me, if I was a witch, you'd be the first to know."

That didn't help.

The moment they went inside, Bulma flipped a switch and suddenly the dark house lit up.

That didn't help either.

"You _are_ a witch!! You turned night into day!!" He looked out the window, wondering how far this mysticism must have spread. Bulma simply sat down at the table in the next room, taking her scarf off and throwing it on the table.

"You don't even know about lights?" She grabbed a remote device. "You've got a long way to go, Tarzan." She pointed the remote at Goku, smiling. "Turn around." She clicked the remote, and suddenly loud music came on from behind Goku. The instruments he couldn't tell though, as he had never heard anything like it before.

_Nineteen!You're only nineteen for God's sake, oh! You don't need a boyfriend!_

"Oh, no way! Move it, Goku. I love this song!!

Goku turned around, and saw people in a box. It was a weird sight; people were singing and dancing and moving to the tune of the song. But how they got inside the plastic and glass box he had no idea; he had to get them out!!

"Hey!" He banged on the side of the box. "Hey, you midgets, get outta that box!"

Bulma smirked, humming to the tune of the song.

_Another week of school won't do you any good_

_And I know how it feels to be your age._

But just as the refrain began again, she smelled something she had never smelled before. Did the entire woods come into the house, animals and all? She knew it was Goku; he was the one who'd lived in the woods before this. She thought

"Goku, you're stinking up the place. You need a bath!!"

Goku looked back at her, curiosity in his eyes. The kind of look, she could tell, when he encountered something he didn't understand.

_No_, she thought. _It can't be._

"Uh..." he tilted his head, thinking.

_No, no, no... _She was beginning to panic. _Surely, __**surely...**_

"What's a bath?" he asked.

_No no no NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!! _

"You're kidding... right? Eww!!!" she pinched her nose and pretended to cry. She didn't really want to help him, but the generous person in her forced her to help. That, and she didn't want the house to stink. She walked him to the bath, gave him the grand tour, and helped him strip naked. She turned the water one and did her best to clean him without looking.

"What's that in my hair?! It feels funny!!" Goku complained as she rubbed her shampoo in

those porqupine quills he called hair.

"Shut it. Do you know how many guys dream of me giving them a bath?" She mumbled something about "waste of my babe-itude" as she turned him around and started on his back. Then she noticed his tail.

"WAAAH!!" She jumped back, crawling up on the sink in surprise.

"Huh? What?"

"Your tail.. I'd forgotten... about..." Bulma stuttered, staring at the long hairy appendage located above Goku's butt.

"Oh. Well, it's okay. I can wash myself now," Goku replied, using his tail to pick up the washrag she was using.

"What I said before about you being weird," Bulma stammered, "I take it back. Weird doesn't even cut it.

Goku laughed. "Oh well." He shook his hair, spreading the water everywhere and spiking his hair back to normal. After putting his clothes back on, he left the room (probably to try and scare the "midgets" out of the TV again). Leaving plenty of time for herself to bathe, to relax in the soothing bubblebath. She washed herself, starting from her long legs.

"Seriously," she began thinking aloud about her strange new companion, "is he for real? He acts like I'm some kind of witch when _he's_ something straight out of a horror movie."

Then she saw him. She could hear the Psycho violins in her head. She dunked her head, her body underwater.

"**Goku!!** What do ya think you're **looking at?!**" she yelled.

He didn't answer. His eyes were in the same spot any teenager's eyes would be, even though that spot was safely hidden under the bubbles and the water.

"So instead of a tail, you've got something to help you balance... on top??" he asked.

"**Get outta here!!**" She started throwing shampoo, soap, toilet paper. Anything to scare Goku into leaving the room. And luckily for him, it did. He'd never seen anything more horrifying; nothing worse than an angry woman.

"You try anything like that again," she said when she was finally out of the tub (and dressed), "you're dead." She was now dressed in an oversized pink and was brushing her violet hair with a thick-brissled comb.

"I'm starving," responded Goku. "I forgot to eat that fish earlier."

"Don't worry, kid. I got plenty to eat here," Bulma sighed. And that she did. From the moment he asked it, she decided to impress him and pull out food from every corner of the kitchen.

Unfortunately, she'd chosen the house that hadn't been re-stocked. All she had was bread and coffee, which Goku didn't really like.

"This bread stuff," he tore a chunk from the loaf of bread before him and chewed it, "is all soft and nasty. And that soup," he drank it from the cup, holding on to the handle since the cup was glass and _hot_, "is bitter."

"Well, that soup is coffee, for one thing. Maybe if you'd learned to eat," she scoffed, "you wouldn't be such a shrimp!"

"Shrimp" was an overstatement, but Goku was a tad on the small side. Most boys his age were starting to show visible muscle tones. Oh, and most boys his age also lacked tails.

"Well I'm gonna go get some real food," Goku told her, grabbing his staff and sheath. After tying it around his back, he looked back at Bulma and told her "I'll be back in a few minutes!"

He ran out and closed the door. Bulma sighed and opened up the cover of a magazine. "Hope he comes back."

The moment she said it, someone knocked on the door. "I'm ba-a-ack!"

"That was fast!" She set aside her most recent copy of _Shonen Jump_ and jumped up to open the door. And boy does she wish she hadn't done that, because on the other side of the door was Goku.

With the corpse of a wolf, a real grey wolf, in his hands.

"I caught a wolf!" he said, if it weren't obvious enough. "And I got a centipede for flavor!"

After a quiet _outdoors_ meal (Bulma wouldn't let him inside), Goku opened the door inside. He knew, as did Bulma, that it was time to get ready for bed. So when he came inside, Bulma was

dressed in an over-sized pink shirt and had tied up one side of her hair in a pigtail. Goku could have laughed, but then he laid his eyes on the futon next to her.

Well, his animal instincts kicked in.

He jumped on it, and jumped, and continued to jump.

"Whoa!!" was his first response, as it should be. "This bed is so fun!!"

"It's called a futon," Bulma explained, picking out a pink-colored toothbrush from her bag.

"Well, this futon thing's gonna be so much fun to sleep on!" He laughed warmly. "And I haven't slept with anyone in _so_ long!"

Bulma turned and glared at him, her blue eyes suddenly icy cold. "'Slept with'...? Get real." She opened a closet and pulled out a blanket. "Here's your blanket," she dropped the blanket at her feet, "and here's the floor."

Goku didn't care. The house was so cozy, it didn't matter where he slept. This was guaranteed to be a better sleep than he'd ever had back at his humble little hut. But still...

"We're sleeping apart?"

"Well, duh!" Bulma uncapped a tube and squeezed some of the paste onto her toothbrush. "And if you try anything, you're dead. My gun's still fully loaded."

"But I always used Grampa as a pillow. He was so soft and comfy..." he sighed happily, tilting his head as he remembered.

"_You're not using me as a pillow, freak!_" she yelled at him.

And all conversation stopped for a few minutes after that. Goku simply lie down on his little blanket pile and hummed to entertain himself as Bulma brushed her teeth. Then...

"So, it was just you and your grandfather?" she asked him, her mouth full of toothpaste foam.

"Yep. It was just me and him. He taught me a lot, like how to hunt and fish and defend myself. He was shocked I could learn so much so fast!" Goku laughed to himself, then stopped. Bulma turned and saw a sadness enter Goku's eyes. "Until..."

"Until what? What happened?" Bulma asked.

Goku looked up at Bulma. "My grampa told me that the eclipse doesn't come for very long, but when it does a monster comes out and time seems to slow down. He warned me not to look at it because when you do... the monster comes and attacks you."

"So he looked up, you think?" Bulma looked away, into the mirror at her reflection. "Well you're not supposed to look up at a solar eclipse anyway, but I've never heard of a monster that comes out. The only thing I've heard of that could be a monster is some Demon King, years ago." She looked at him again. "So what happened to your parents?"

Goku shrugged. "I dunno. I guess they abandoned me in the mountains when I was a baby. Whatever happened, Grampa found me and decided to keep me." He laughed warmly again, in complete contrast to his mood only seconds before.

Bulma spat foam into the sink and poured water into a cup. "How can you laugh about that? Maybe they abandoned you because you had a tail."

"Were you abandoned because you had a fat chest?' Goku asked, tilting his head to one side.

Bulma spat out water in shock and angrily turned to Goku. "**Fat chest?!** I **swear** you're saying this on purpose!!" She sighed heavily to keep her anger under control, then began sipping from her cup again. "It just so happens, I'm on summer vacation from school -- and I'm taking advantage of my break! Unlike you, I don't have all year. Just another twenty days, and I have to go back."

She turned to Goku, wondering how his farm-boy mentality would process this information. Instead, she found the boy sleeping cozily, happily, on the ground.

"If you ask questions, at least stay awake long enough for the answers," she yelled, clapping her hands. The lights turned off instantly, and she walked over to her bed sleepily, angrily.

---------------------------------

It's early in the morning. The sun was rising. The birds were singing, the brook was bubbling. And... the monkeys were waking up.

At least, the monkey _boys_ were waking up.

Goku, who was used to waking up a little later in the day, was too tired to care how dim the light was; his hut was usually that dim anyway. But when he got up to stretch a bit, he saw a sight that unknown to him would lead to a chain reaction.

Bulma was deep in sleep, her legs spread wide. She clutched her blanket in her hand, which hung from the side of her bed. Her mouth was wide open, snoring softly as she dreamed pleasant dreams. Her oversized shirt was slightly lifted up, though, revealing a pair of pearl-white panties.

Of course, Goku didn't know what it was, and acted purely on how he knew the world.

"Wow." He smiled to himself. "It may not be shaped like Grampa, but I can still use _her_ as a pillow." He laughed to himself as he crawled onto the bed and he lay his head down on her panties.

Thought Bulma moaned slightly, Goku himself noted nothing unusual. Nothing, except that it wasn't as good a pillow as his Grampa. He lifted his head up and looked straight into the panties. Something _was_ odd about it; it was all flat, or so he could tell. Like when he undressed himself, he grabbed the underwear and slowly took them off, curiosity slowly taking hold of him. He threw the pair to the side, and looked back to where his eyes were first glued.

And _that's_ how Goku learned about female anatomy.

**But** he didn't realize what he had just seen; it scared him so much, he screamed out in horror. Terror seemed to grip him from the inside out.

His screaming woke Bulma up, and in her early-morning daze she knocked her shirt back over her otherwise-uncovered crotch.

"Wha--!? What's wrong, pipsqueak?" she mumbled.

Goku was horrified, staring at her in terror. "Th-They're g-go-gone!! Where've they g-go-gone?!"

"Gone?" Bulma rubbed her eyes, thinking. Then suddenly, something clicked. "Oh mah gosh! The Dragon Balls!" She ran off into the other room, off to check on the Dragon Balls.

She found out moments later that the Dragon Balls were safe from harm, and begged Goku not to bother her with his nightmares. Goku recovered moments later, finally coming to his own conclusion about what he had seen. And so Bulma sighed in relief, her greatest fear averted... for now.

**Author's Notes**

_You'll never guess what song is Bulma's favorite (at least, in this fanfic). I thought it would fit; Bulma's supposed to be a beautiful geek, and despite how that's what every one wants, it's an oddity in the real world. Three guesses on the title and artist. :)_

_Anyone else get the small (miniscule, microscopic) joke, a reference to DBZ: Abridged? I didn't even catch it at first, because I added some stuff I could see her thinking. But let's see if you can catch it._

_I couldn't decide how to explain about Bulma; should I have her still in school, give her a limit like in the comic, or say she's such a genius she graduated early? Sure it's not important now, but it could be slightly influential of some events in the future. For now, I kept it the similar to the source material, but if I need to change it I'll make note of it in a future chapter._

_Yeah. I made it an eclipse instead of a full moon. Big deal. At least I didn't turn Bulma into Lara Croft. Or make Piccolo yellow. Zing!_

_Also, this chapter is a bit risque (spelling?) in the final scene. Bulma's a girl; she's sensitive in that area. Though it may be too much, I had Goku remove her panties, I seriously thought about keeping them on. It's not too important; the importance is a future pervert character who would still be a pervert. But then I thought; a movie could still be made PG-13, and controversy could be averted by focusing... NOT on her butt. But then again, this whole story would still have to be cut down a whole lot to be made a movie. Oh yeah, and someone important would have to read it. :P_


	4. The Invincible Turtle Hermit

Bulma and Son Goku prepare to begin the second day of their quest. But just outside their safe haven, beyond the locked doors and closed windows, a humanoid shadow leaps across the branches, running on top of trees, drawing ever closer...

But no one notices.

Why?

"Aren't you ready yet?" Goku asked, wide awake. His staff was sheathed, tied around his back, and he sat on the floor, arms spread behind him with his legs tapping the floor in front of him. Bulma simply sat on a chair, washing her face in the sink.

"You're the one that wakes up too early," she mumbled, shaking the water from her face. "And what's with the familiar tone?" She grabbed a hairbrush and began brushing her hair before turning back to him, waving her brush at him. "I'm older than you. You should be calling me 'miss'!"

"But," Goku titled his head, "_what_ did you miss?"

"Agh! Forget it." Bulma turned back to the mirror. Goku smiled and watched her, mesmerized by what she was doing to herself. She started pulling out all sorts of colorful sticks and small, miniscule brushes. Goku didn't think he could stand watching her color herself like a clown (he was even more shocked to realize he'd remembered the word "clown"; it'd been years since his grandfather had mentioned them). So he suddenly leapt to his feet, drawing Bulma's attention to himself.

"Where are you going?" she inquired.

"To get some exercise." And he ran out the door.

The outside was much different than from his hut at the edge of Mt. Paozu. There was a path, sure, but it didn't lead into a forest because there wasn't one. There were a few trees scattered around the path He could see huge dinosaurs in the distance, and could hear wild beasts in the other. But he wasn't looking for a meal, just a good work-out.

Starting off small, he ran towards a small tree barely twice his height and half his width and with little effort pulled it out of the ground just to toss it into the air. Then, with a mighty leap that sent him flying, he jumped and kicked the tree. It broke on contact, splitting into multiple chunks and twigs.

He landed on his feet, flexing his barely-visibile muscles, then ran over to a slightly bigger tree. Within moments, it shattered into several equally-sized pieces of firewood. Then he set his almond eyes on a tree, the biggest one in the immediate area.

He ran over to try and lift it out of the ground. He could feel the roots come up below his feet, could hear the crunches as he pulled it out. And then it was out, though Goku wasn't near strong enough to throw it into the air; it was a huge tree.

And it's a good thing he didn't throw it, because it turns out someone was on top of it.

"Hey!" a scratchy, scrawny voice above him yelled. At first, Goku didn't know what was happening; he was so surprised he let go of the tree, and the tree began to fall down... towards the house.

"What's with all the -" Bulma began, when she saw the tree falling towards her. "OH MY GOD!" she yelped.

Goku had one shot; he pulled out his staff, used it to vault lift him off the ground. When it didn't give him enough lift-off, he yelled out "Extend!" and that it did; it grew at least another eight feet, and he had enough lift-off to let go of it. He leapt onto the round roof and turned just as the tree fell; he spread his arms in front of him, catching the tree before it could hit the house, but he didn't know if he could keep it from doing too much damage. Not because of a lack of strength in himself, but because the house seemed to be giving in under him. He could already feel his feet make dents from the shear weight.

Then, he saw something jump from the tree onto the house, landing with a light tap behind him. Figuring he'd better do something quick, with one mighty shove he pushed the tree away and turned around, taking a fighting stance. And what he saw, he didn't expect.

A tan human just his age, leaned over clutching his knees trying to catch his breath. His attire was that of a Chinese monk. His entire head was bald, but he could see six burn marks in rows of two on brow. On his back was an oversized purple turtle shell.

"Hey! Goku, what the hell?" Bulma screamed as the tree landed safely away - far away - from the house.

"Who are you?" Goku asked the strange boy in front of him. After a few last huffs and puffs, the boy stood up tall (though he was still smaller than Goku) and cleared his throat.

"I am Kuririn."

"_Goku, get your monkey butt down here!_" Bulma screamed, waving her arms in anger.

"Can I bring Kuririn down too?" he asked innocently.

"Who?" Bulma looked up and was shocked to see another boy, about Goku's age, standing up next to him. "Who's that?"

The boy named Kuririn jumped down and landed next to Bulma with the grace of a martial artist. "I am called Kuririn, ma'am. And might I trouble you for some water? I've been out all day, you see, looking for water after a long exercise."

"Exercise?" Goku yelped, excitedly jumping from the roof. His timing and grace weren't perfect, though, and he accidently knocked Kuririn to the side, under Bulma's oversized shirt. Kuririn looked up, blushed, and quickly regained himself as he crawled back to his feet.

"Yes, exercise, you animal." Kuririn looked Goku up and down, obviously wondering what kind of creature he was. Then he looked back to Bulma. "May I ask you for some water, ma'am?"

"Oh, yeah. Sure." Bulma walked back inside, leaving Goku and Kuririn alone.

"So what are you?" Goku asked, tilting his head.

"What do you mean?"

Goku's eyes fell to Kuririn's crotch, causing him to back away a little bit, nervous. "Are you a boy or a girl?" Goku crossed his arms.

"You... you can't tell?" Kuririn asked as Bulma came out with a glass of water.

"Actually, I think I can find out fast enough." Goku's hands clenched and he walked over to Kuririn, who immediately fled to hide behind Bulma.

"He's a boy, moron." Bulma handed Kuririn the glass of water (which he proceeded to down) and knocked Goku on the head. "So - Kuririn, right? - what brings you to this neck of the woods?"

With a great gasp, he finished the glass of water and handed it back to her. "Well, ma'am, my master told me to begin my training with him... to take a swim out to the mainland and get a bit of exercise. But now, a week later, I can't seem to find my way back. I'm starved, and I'm tired..." He sighed. "Travelling through trees is hard work."

"Well buddy, hate to tell you," Bulma started, thinking and waving her finger over an invisible calculator, "but the ocean's completely the other way. About..." another invisible calculation, "one-twenty kilometers east."

"You mean _one hunded and twenty_..." Kuririn blurted out. His legs seemed to fall out from under him.

"Hey, you want us to take you back to this 'ocean' thing?" Goku asked, pointing to himself.

"W-would you...?" Kuririn seemed skeptical.

"**No**, no no no no no no," Bulma said, crossing her arms. "What are you, nuts? We haven't got that long for our journey! We'll be lucky to get more than half of the-"

"C'mon, Kuririn. Get on my back. You said you were tired." Goku took the staff's sheath off of his back and bent over. Kuririn was understandably skeptical, but made his way over and eventually climbed atop Goku's back.

"It's not our responsibility, Goku!" Bulma yelled. With a growl, she finally exploded. "Fine! Do whatever you want, I don't care! But don't ever darken my doorstep or show your face again!" She stuck her tongue out at him as Goku and Kuririn ran off. And that's when she noticed the pouch under his belt - the pouch holding the Four-Star Dragon Ball.

Then suddenly, silence.

_Damn it._ She lowered her head. _I forgot to take his Dragon Ball. And if he really doesn't come back..._

Her thoughts were broken by a roar in the distance. She had to get Goku back.

Goku had already run quite a good distance away. The path was beginning to wind past several small hills that as the road came further along slowly turned into mountains. The two boys were having an interesting conversation, Goku asking Kuririn about himself.

"I'm not bald!" the bald boy blurted as Goku's steps shook his voice. "All great martial artists shave their head, not just to conserve their _chi_ but so as not to let their opponents grab their hair. Some opponents are like that."

"How's about the turtle shell on your back?" Goku asked.

Kuririn sighed. "A sign that I'm training under the Invincible One, the great Turtle Hermit.

"And those dots?"

"Hey, wait up guys!" a distance, headstrong voice behind them yelled, barely audible over the great roar of her motorcycle.

"Bulma!" Goku exclaimed, almost happily.

The motorcycle screeched to a halt beside the two boys. "You can't do it without me, Goku."

"Huh?" Goku looked up at the violet-haired girl. "What about all that about never wanting to see my face again?"

"Yeah, well..." Bulma looked down, her face flushed in anger.

Suddenly the ground beneath them began to quake. The small party looked up to see the source of the quaking. Bulma put her hand to her mouth, stiffling a scream.

A huge bear of a man, furry and scarred, had leapt from the top of an upcoming mountain, landing in front of them. The ground at his feet had cracked under his spiked boots, and his hands, guarded by iron gauntlets, pointed a huge saber at Bulma's throat.

"Waiters on wheels, huh?" The bear theif chuckled at his own wit, and with one hand he brushed the dust off his leather jacket. "It's been far too long since I've tasted female human flesh!"

"N-N-N-N-No!" Bulma squeaked. "I'm not delicious, trust me!" She made a funny face. "Yuck, yucky!"

"Heh heh, a comedian huh?" The bear brushed his mohawk hair delicately. "That's fine by me. More sweet than spicy."

"I think she's the other way around," a voice spoke at the bear-man's feet. He looked down and saw a boy with spiky, porqupine hair holding on his back a bald kid with a monk's robes.

"So, you wanna be my appetizer boy?" He pointed his sword at Goku.

"You might wanna get off my back, Kuririn." Goku looked up at the bald boy who obeyed immediately. However, despite Goku's warning, Kuririn walked closer to the bear thief instead of away.

"Watch and learn, monkey boy!" Kuririn said, dropping the turtle shell from his back. Then with a mighty leap, he leapt into the air with a flying kick.

The bear, however, swatted the boy away with the flick of his hand. Kuririn hit the ground, landing on his feet but sliding slightly back. He then rushed towards the beast again, swinging his arms wildly as he hit the beast. The bear swatted Kuririn away again, and this time Kuririn down, stars momentarily blinding him.

"Hey! That's mean!" Goku yelled, running towards the beast. The bear smirked as best he could, his canine teeth yellow and stained, and with the speed of a cheetah he swung his sword down towards the spiky-headed boy.

"Goku!" Bulma shrieked, but her eyes widened a moment later at what she saw. The bear glared down at the girl, his next meal, until he heard a laughing voice. He looked to his sword, and saw on top of it was the boy standing, crossing his arms, a huge grin on his face.

"Wha? How did you-" He was stunned, and in desperation he began swinging his sword wildly. Goku took this as an advantage, jumping off the sword onto the bear's head when he lifted it high above his head. Goku took a defensive stance as the bear-man crossed his eyes just to keep Goku in sight.

"Rock," Goku made a fist with his left hand, "scissors," he stuck two fingers out from the balled-up hand and leapt up, and as he landed he yelled out "paper!" as he hit the bear with his palm flat. The strike hit the bear square in the head, hitting a pressure point that suddenly exploded in blood. Goku leaped off the beast, making the "V for Victory" sign with his hand as he landed.

"I'm done. He sure wasn't nice," Goku commented, placing his hands on his hips in an imitation of Bulma. "Are you really that tasty, Bulma?"

"No! N-No!" Bulma shrieked.

"You sure don't look like good food," Goku laughed. He helped Kuririn back to his feet, helped him get his turtle shell back on, and let Kuririn crawl back on Goku's back.

_He's _that_ strong?_ Bulma thought to herself. _But then... wow._

A short while later, they arrived at last to the ocean. Kuririn got off Goku's back quickly, as Goku's tail was starting to get on his nerves. But he was thrilled, excited.

"I'm finally going to return! I don't believe it! I'm going to be trained!" Kuririn exclaimed as he set his eyes on the sea before him. Then a sudden thought seemed to hit him, and he frowned. "But how will he react when he finds I was rescued by someone...?"

"Don't think like that," Goku said cheerfully, patting him on the back.

"I know I shouldn't." Kuririn snapped his fingers. "I'll be off to fetch him, to tell my tale. Would you two mind waiting here for a while?" He looked at Bulma, then Goku, then back at Bulma.

"Nah!" Goku said. Bulma looked at Goku with the evil eye but it was good enough for Kuririn, who dived into the sea and swam off into the distance. The two waited there at the beach for several hours, playing in the water ("I should have brought my swim-suit!" Bulma complained). Goku actually tried to drink it, but it was too salty for his tastes.

After a while, Bulma sighed. "Goku, you may be a weirdo, but you've got heart. I'm... I mean, I'm kinda glad I brought you on this quest. You're making it into a real adventure. Can't wait to see what's up next." She smiled at the boy, her eyes sparkling brightly in the sunlight. Goku smiled back at her.

"Yeah, I'm kinda glad too!" Goku smiled at her. Bulma smirked at him when suddenly the sound of waves rushing broke the otherwise silent ocean. Both heroes looked into the distance and saw a small speck coming towards them.

"Is that... the bald kid?" Bulma asked, using her hand to block the light from her eyes.

"I think so. But I don't remember him having a beard!" Goku exclaimed.

Indeed, the "bald kid" was riding towards them. But there was someone else with him, someone with a beard, carrying Kuririn on his shiny dome. This older man seemed calm, cool, wearing sunglasses over his eyes and a Hawaiian shirt on his chest, with a huge orb hanging from his necklace. The lower half of his face was completely obscured by a mustache and a fu man chu, both as white as the clouds. He held a staff in his hands, and he rode in on an extremely large turtle who almost seemed to be smiling.

When the turtle reached the beach, the old man jumped off the turtle with a youthful leap. Kuririn then jumped off the old man's head and landed softly in the sand beside him.

"Howdy, kids!" the old man said, raising his hand in greetings.

"Who are you, old timer?" Goku asked. His eyes were entranced by what he was seeing.

"I?" the old man laughed. "I go by many names! The turtle hermit, the invincible master... But I suppose I should let you call me Muten-Roshi, hmm?"

"Um, ok," Goku mumbled. His eyes never left the old man's head. "So, do you shave your head?" he asked bluntly.

"Hey!" Kuririn yelled. "It is rude to stare at the invincible one's head! And yes, as I told you before, all martial artists shave their heads!"

"Actually," Roshi admitted, "I'm naturally bald. But that's neither here nor there; I heard one of you saved my pupil?"

"Um, I think that was me." Goku raised his hand up.

"Heh heh." Roshi smirked, and there was a twinkle in his eye. "You look the type, son. The hero type. Now normally, I would get angry at my student for failing to fully complete his training," he turned his head slightly towards Kuririn, who ashamedly lowered his head, "but from what he tells me there were several unforseen circumstances that didn't allow him to do so. So, Spiky," he laughed at his new nickname for Goku, "how would you like to be trained under me?"

"Huh?" A hint of interest, a flicker of curiosity, sparkled in Goku's dark eyes.

"You could be my pupil, trained in the Kamesen'nin style of fighting! The Turtle symbol would look amazing on yo-"

"Sorry, but no," Bulma interupted. "The squirt is with me."

"Ah." His whiskers twitched as he (apparantly) eyed the violet-haired girl. "Well, still. The boy needs to be rewarded." He turned to his bald pupil. "Kuririn, what do you think we should give them?"

"Oh, sir!" Kuririn's face lit up. "How about the Immortal Phoenix!"

"Ah, good thinking! But," he tapped Kuririn on his forehead with his staff, "saving you isn't worth the immortality promised. Besides... if you'll remember the issue with the tainted bird seed..."

"Oh, forgive me Sensei!" Kuririn bowed apologetically, his face reddening.

"Hmm..." Roshi hummed to himself, rubbing the orb around his necklace. Then he suddenly snapped his fingers. "I've got it." He looked to the sky, taking in a deep breath, and yelled out "COME TO ME, NIMBUS CLOUD!"

There was silence. Then, an odd sort of sound could be faintly heard. Was it a whistle, constantly whistling down octaves as it grew closer? Finally, they could see it; a candy-shaped _thing_ was drawing closer. It was... a cloud?

"This is the Nimbus Cloud. I give it to you," the old man said to Goku. Goku's eyes shined with excitement and enthusiasm.

"Really! Oh, thank you, thank you!" Goku said, almost jumping with excitement. "But.. how do you eat it?"

"You don't eat a magical cloud, m'boy! You ride it! It'll take you anywhere you desire!" Roshi explained.

"Don't mean to interupt, but why does a _turtle_ hermit have a magic _cloud_?" Bulma asked, folding her arms.

"Who cares! Do you really mean it'll fly me? Anywhere?" Goku asked, waving his arms around.

"Yes, but you have to have an empty concious and a pure heart! Otherwise, you can't even get on." Kuririn explained, raising his finger. "Here, allow me to show you!" And Kuririn leapt onto the cloud, but the second his foot touched the cloud it dissolved, and Kuririn fell through the cloud onto the sand.

Goku began to laugh wildly, and Bulma had to strain not to join in. Roshi adjusted his shades and tutted the boy.

"Tsk tsk, Kuririn. You used to be able to ride. What happened, lad?"

"I... I only do as my master does!" Kuririn began bowing at Roshi's feet, his face redder than usual. "Forgive me!"

"Heh, get up lad. You're embarrassing yourself."

"Let me try!" Goku yelled, jumping onto the cloud, and with a _tak_ his foot lightly tapped the cloud. It was solid, and it stayed so. Needless to say, as Kuririn got to his feet, his eyes widened. As did Bulma's and Roshi's.

"My word..." Roshi muttered.

"Goku," Bulma said, smiling "you're something special."

"So... do I just tell it to go, or...?" Goku wondered aloud, his tail wagging. But as if it heard it, the cloud zoomed out into the sea, whistling as it did so. Goku's excitement couldn't be contained; as he zoomed, whirled, and twirled everywhich way, you could hear his yipping and hollering halfway across the world. He finally zipped back to the beach.

"Thanks, old timer! This is great, thanks a billion!" Bulma laughed.

"Well, hell. You make it look like it was _meant_ for you!" Roshi smiled.

"Hey!" Bulma said, walking closer to the old man as Goku continued his joy-ride. "Do I get something too?"

Roshi considered for a moment, then looked at his student. "Kuririn, you said the girl helped you too, didn't you?"

"I did not, sir." Kuririn frowned at Bulma, whose eyes seemed to glow red with annoyance.

"_Hey, who gave you a glass of water, kid?"_ But then something caught her eye. Close up, she had a better look at the orange orb around Roshi's neck - an orange orb with _three stars within._

A Dragon Ball.

"What about that?" Bulma pointed.

"This old thing?" Roshi held the orb in his hand. "Heh, found it a hundred years back while scuba diving. Isn't that right, turtle?" Roshi looked back at the turtle near the beach, who seemed to nod.

"How about it?" Bulma asked, excited at the thought of gaining another Dragon Ball.

"Well... He scratched his head. "I may be able to... if..." His face turned red and he smiled a toothy grin, drooling at a suddent thought, "if you show me your panties!"

"Wha-what?" Bulma asked, turning red and putting her hand over her mouth.

"I believe he did not stutter," Kuririn mutter, also turning red. And yet his eyes were also filled with an unusual eagerness.

"You perverts! No wonder you can't ride the cloud, if you're emulating your master, kid!" Bulma stated! "But, I guess..."

Both looked on in anticipation.

_I suppose I could. I mean, it's only my panties. And I'll just act ashamed when I flash him, maybe guarantee it..._

She grabbed the sides of her huge undershirt, and with the speed of a cheetah lifted it up.

What Roshi and Kuririn saw, however, was not a girl in panties. It was much more - and less - than that. With all the blood rushing to his head, Kuririn got a nose bleed and Roshi's pants seemed to get tighter.

But just as fast as she lifted her shirt, she lowered it. It was just as well, Goku came riding back in just as Roshi handed the Dragon Ball to her ("That was definitely worth it, and more, my dear!")

"Goku! Look, we have the _Sanshinch__ū_now!" Bulma held up the orb, and Goku seemed to put on an even bigger smile.

"Oh yeah! We have another Dragon Ball!"

"Yeah! My radar showed one way to the south, and this (he avoided Bulma's gaze, lest his nose bleed again). must be it!" Bulma explained, staring into the stars.

"Dragon Ball?" Roshi asked, scratching his beard. "I've heard of those before..."

But before he could question them, he shrugged and beckoned Kuririn onto his back. "Well, it doesn't matter! I'm off! My life is worth living again!"

"Maybe we'll see you again soon?" Kuririn asked, looking at Goku hopefully

"Definitely!" Goku said, giving the thumbs up expression.

"Goku... rethink my offer. You could be a great fighter. I'm not always willing to train students, and my offer won't last forever."

"Sounds like fun! I like training!" Goku said, flexing his muscles. "I'll come as soon as I can!"

"Hope to see you soon, then," Roshi said. He jumped onto the turtle, and the pair swam off into the distance.

Afterwards, time seemed to go by quickly. They rode back to the house (though Bulma wanted to ride on the Nimbus, it wouldn't let her, so she had to drive her motorcycle) and got ready to go on the rode again. However...

"_OH MY GAWD!_"

"Bulma, what is it?" Goku burst through the door, waving his staff around, ready to fight.

"If my panties are right here," she seemed to stutter in fear, "then.. I'm not wearing anything, and they..." She closed her eyes and seemed to tear up. "I feel so.. dirty..."

"Wait. What?" Goku looked at the panties he'd placed on the table earlier that morning. "Oh, wait. That? It's okay, you don't need those parts to survive!"

"'Those parts'? What do you... are you saying _you_ took off my panties?"

Goku tilted his head. "What's a 'panties'?"

Bulma waved her panties around. "_**THESE, **__YOU MORON!_"

"Um. Yeah!" Goku smirked. "Like I said, you don't need those parts under them to survive!"

Bulma did not explode immediately. Instead, she walked calmly to a set of drawers near the TV. She opened on and pulled out a gun, cocking it. "Goku," she said coolly, "one chance. Run."

**Author's Notes**

_That's right. Kuririn (not Krillin, which I as a dubbie prefer). I couldn't think of any other place to introduce him into the story. But he's not nearly as hard as another character I wanted to introduce into the story will be, because I want this other character to be a developed main character... but he may not be that well-written. Damn bad writing skills. Note of interest: Kuririn now has a nose :)_

_The bear thief is dressed, the way I described him, in an outfit similar to "Yamcha" in DB:E, only more biker because of the spiked boots and gauntlets. Also he has a saber. That's kinda important. Or is it?_

_I really hoped this story would have ended up with a good enough following to inspire me to not only complete it, but to do a sequel. But… chances are, since this was the last one I wrote – several years ago – I may not even finish chapter five, which I haven't worked on since 2010. _

_Prove me wrong._


End file.
